Kim Kardashian Now Bangs Soccer Players

Since Reggie Bush finally realized he was actually going to marry her if he didn't do something quick like cheat on her, Kim Kardashian has shocked the world by letting someone pee on her whose melanin levels don't make the bell ring on the strong man game at the state fair.

Kim Kardashian has apparently “switched teams”, RadarOnline.com can reveal. Fresh off after her split with NFL star Reggie Bush, the reality TV stunner was spotted enjoying a romantic meal in Spain with Real Madrid soccer stud Cristiano Ronaldo.Newly single Kim watched him play for Real Madrid while she was visiting Spain with friends, but she got up close-and-personal with the hunky soccer star from Portugal when the pair shared a lunch date on Monday. On-lookers revealed that they saw the pair ‘kissing and being very affectionate’ inside the restaurant although they left in separate cars afterwards. Traveling in a blacked-out Mercedes G-Wagon, Kim then followed Ronaldo in his Audi RS6 sports car before heading back to his mansion inside a gated community in Madrid.

That's funny, because I just drove my Xterra to the farmer's market and got some tomatoes. Oh man, me and Christiano! Just living the dream!